I must warn you, I’m not here because I really want to be here right now, but because I kind of have to. I still care a lot about this little space of mine, even though I’ve been too depressed to write. My followers have been asking me to write every day, though, they told me they can’t live without my daily posts and I must write even if I’m depressed, you know, for them. Now, by “my followers” I mean “my boyfriend”, and he didn’t use these exact words, but the point is that I’m here. (Just nod along, you don’t wanna mess with me when I’m in this mood.)
After this introduction, I don’t know if I should jump into my boring whining directly or try to disguise it. Ok, let’s say we’ll talk about relationships – I don’t even know exactly where I’m going, but try to stay with me.
Relationships are hard. Long-distance relationships are even harder. Everybody knows this, I’m stating the obvious, right? But what about long-distance relationships with a guy who lives in Rio de Janeiro, during Carnival? Why the hell are you nodding already? I’m not done.
I was saying, what about long-distance relationships with a guy who lives in Rio de Janeiro, during Carnival, with an Argentinian girl sleeping in his room for a week, while you are in your Italian cold little town, in your pijamas, writing on your blog on a Saturday night? Did I mention the Argentinian girl?
What are you doing in your Italian cold little town, in your pijamas, writing on your blog on a Saturday night? you might ask. Mind your own business, I might answer. But I won’t. I’ll answer instead, it’s cold outside; there’s nobody at home, I wanna enjoy this rare peace; my bed is comfortable and I can sit there for free; and also, you know, I’m this kind of weird creative person who doesn’t care about partying on Saturday night, ’cause while other people are out drinking, I’m here getting inspired, lighting incense, drinking tea and having brilliant ideas. Can you imagine me, in a corner of the room, with a feeble light and a patchouli smell? It sounds kind of cool, I think I’ll stick with this last reason.
You might also wonder what I’m doing in Italy after my exam session is over and it’s Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, where my boyfriend lives, btw. Well, that makes two of us. The truth is that when I bought the plane ticket I thought my exams would go on until the third week of February, and the birthday of one of my best friends is on the 27th, so I thought one week wouldn’t really make a difference. Little I knew that I would take the last exam on the 12th and find myself here spitting fire in front of my laptop while another girl is enjoying the Brazilian Carnival with my boyfriend.
You might also ask what that girl is doing in my boyfriend’s room. Before answering, I wanna get some credit for not using the words “hell”, “bitch”, “fucking” and similar (yet). First of all, this girl is a person we both met when we studied in Germany. My boyfriend considers her a friend (in the wide sense of the word, I hope) and I consider her a person who clearly doesn’t like me (which I accept), but instead of saying it loud and clear invents pathetically-nice bullshit about me in front of my boyfriend, so that I look like a huge bitch (don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming!) who says mean things about such a sweet person (which I don’t accept). She kind of invited herself at my boyfriend’s place for Carnival and he couldn’t say no – and believe me, he tried.
About forty minutes have passed since I wrote the last paragraph, my boyfriend has been texting me to tell me how much he misses me, and loves me, and wants me to hasten my arrival… I don’t even remember what I was talking about. Life is good.