Mental health · The Search for Happiness

New Year’s Eve.

Hey folks! Are you ready to celebrate?

I must confess, I’ve never been such a big fan of New Year’s Eve – and New Year’s Eve celebrations. I feel excited for the beginning of something new, but I feel this excitement more on the 1st of January than on the 31st of December. Moreover, I’ve never liked all the pressure of finding the perfect party to go to, the perfect person to kiss at midnight, the perfect dress to wear, etc. I guess this is even worse in Europe (and U.S.A.) because New Year’s Eve is freaking cold and you probably don’t want to celebrate it in the street. I mean, maybe in a big city with a lot of people you do, but in my little town of deserted streets no, you don’t want to.

Anyway, I must add, even though it was pretty hard to feel Christmas in the 40°C sun, I’m really feeling the energy of the new year coming. I feel extremely excited at the thought starting new, after this hard year of panic attacks and finding myself.

So, tonight I want to celebrate the end of a year that was pretty hard but extremely constructive for me. It was difficult to face my panic attacks, but it was wonderful to see that I’m making it. I was forced to get to know myself to get out of hell, and even though hell is not a nice place to visit, I’m grateful that I’ve been there since that was what it took to get where I am now. It has been the toughest challenge of my life (until now, at least), but I’m getting through this. I’ve found an energy and a strength that I would have never suspected I had. I will celebrate the past year at the beach dressed in white, like they do here. Thank you, 2014.

Tomorrow instead, the first day of the new year, I want to celebrate the beginning of something new. The new year is waiting for me, clean from mistakes, from bad feelings, from pain. I feel the end of this year and the beginning of the new one arrived at exactly the right time for me. Now, that I found in me a new person that I didn’t really know. I feel a new life will start with the new year. I feel so excited.

So that’s it, two different celebrations, one tonight, one tomorrow in the morning. Here’s a page from my new lovely notebook, which I decided I’ll fill with the most positive energy and thoughts I can find inside of me!

IMG_2753(Sorry for the pic, my hands were very shaky and I was in a lot of hurry!)

Happy celebrations to everybody!

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